It’s been a while since my last post. My thoughts on the whole debate keep swirling around and I can’t seem to grab them long enough to put them down on paper. One thing I am certain of is that nothing is being achieved by arguing on Twitter. Pile-ons never achieve anything (on either side) apart from make the victim more entrenched in their original standpoint. It doesn’t even matter if @lexi665432566 agrees with you – concentrate on the people with the power. Write to your MP and calmly state that the need to protect women should be a priority in any sane democracy. Ask them how gender can be policed with regards to shelters, prisons etc. The conversation does not have to be toxic in the adult world.
As we count down the minutes to Brexit the words of Jo Cox keep popping into my head.
And the reality is that she was absolutely correct. Even as the culture wars get more and more heated, I still believe that the majority fight for what they think is correct and kind, although I can see that divisions are being sown by people who just want to start trouble. Many people who voted leave in the referendum did so because they genuinely thought it would be better for Britain to trade and live outside of the EU. Both sides wanted the best for their country and only time will tell who was right. Similarly, many people who argue for the treatment of trans children certainly come at it from the viewpoint that it’s best for the kids, based on the information they’ve been given. They’re not on the side of child abuse and honestly think that hormones save lives.
I can also see how the totalitarian atmosphere created by trans activism can cause people to either be quiet or say things they know to be false. If I was young now I honestly don’t know if I would be a flag waving, blue haired member of the trans cult. We had our music to give us a ‘gang’ to identify with and having that sense of belonging was incredibly important to me. I grew out of it when I left my teens, but stopping wearing my ‘gang uniform’ was a lot easier than realising you’ve removed your breasts or genitals because your teenage brain was confused.
I’ve read a lot of detransitioners’ stories (how they tried to escape their reality because of extreme trauma) and it reminded me of a Twitter account that I followed years ago, when I was new to this debate. A young man who had transitioned completely, tweeted about his regret and desolation about what he’d done to himself. He was barely 20 and had realised that he wasn’t trans, but gay; now a gay man without a penis. The terrible agony at the realisation of what he’d done seeped out of every tweet and often left me in tears. He left Twitter a while ago, but I still think of him often. I hope he’s found some form of happiness, but I wish his words remained as a warning to all those well meaning people who see transitioning as a wonderful, fluffy, harmless procedure. You see, people who call us Terfs or haters, we’re technically on the same side. We too want to protect children with dysphoria. We might be coming at it from a different viewpoint, but our desire to protect vulnerable people from destroying their bodies is borne from a place of kindness.
Don’t we all want these children to be treated correctly by professionals and not according to ideologists or snake oil salesmen? This will never happen while we allow this bizarre atmosphere of fear to prevail (if you are scared to speak up – step back and ask yourself why. Who are you scared of?). Child protection should be everyone’s priority, so can we please stop listening to the bullies and start listening to experts?
angrybirdroar 